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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Of Freedom Fries and Friendship with France:

Recently, I saw on the news that Presidents Bush and Sarkozy (sp?) met, and there was no talk of "freedom fries". The first time I heard that term, I recognized it for the utter dipshittery that it is. Actually, the first time I heard that term, I thought it was a hilarious example of Monty Pythonian humor, but stopped laughing when I realized some people actually took it seriously. The second time I heard the term, I recognized its complete and utter dipshittery. Well, I announce that, long after those voices have been quieted, those people having found several other meaningless ideological battles to fight, I am finally opposed to the term "French fries". To use such a term is a slight against the Belgians, who first perfected the art of frying potatoes. Also, the very process of making "French fries" in the American sense of the term is a complete abortion, geared more towards mass production than quality. The Belgians have perfected this art, and create such wonderful homages to the humble potato in the process. In addition, the English have done quite well for themselves in this area, making their "chips" and dousing them with malt vinegar. So while I do enjoy french fries on occasion, I'm largely opposed to their existence. Instead, I believe they should be called "pommes frites" and prepared as such. To do less is to demean a great vegetable.


Snave said...

I think "Brussels Fries" might be more appropriate, but because Brussels sprouts seems to be a fairly unpopular vegetable, the sprouts might get associated with the potatoes and vice versa, enough that such a name might not stick... although it might contribute to getting Americans to eat less fries. Maybe that's what we need to do, rename all the foods we love that are bad for us, and give them names that make the food seem less enticing! I'll rename my Fudgsicles "Shitsicles"!


I love the word "dipshittery". I think it fits the whole right-wing knee-jerk response to anything France-related. I'm not sure, but I think maybe France didn't want to participate in the Iraq war because they as a nation have simply had more than enough of war throughout their history? Sure, they may seem snotty and they may purposefully overcharge Americans in restaurants, but so what.

When I think of Monty Python and France in the same breath, I always think of the French taunter at the castle in the Holy Grail movie. My daughters and I hurl those insults at each other in fun VERY frequently, and we never fail to find humor in it.

1138 said...

"pommes frites" is what they are in Germany, but that balmy Brits simply demean them by calling the chips.
The garbage we eat here is an insult to the French by calling them "french fries".

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

Bah, the French can go stuff themselves. Their egos are far greater than their actual relevance and accomplishments anyway. I simply view it as a crime against good food, and as much as I adore food, that's enough for me.

I can see where they got the term "chips" for fries, and "crisps" for potato chips. Not terribly imaginative of them, but as long as they do them well, they're okay with me. I do love their traditional malt vinegar, but the "chips" have to be piping hot.

1138 said...

We never stopped drinking Canada Dry though even though the Canadians never set foot in Iraq.

As for French Ego, having met real French people at home where they live I can assure you that what you are parroting is pure stereotype.

France and America are more alike than they are different - in all regards.

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

Okay, then I'll say that the egos of their former President Jacques Chirac and his administration were far greater than their actual relevance, ability, and accomplishments. Also, their labor laws are, at best, woefully misguided. My issue with the French predates this administration. I'm sure Frogs outside of their cultural and culinary cesspool are much nicer than their city counterparts, but just as the world views New York and LA as the face of America, so too does the world view Paris.

I haven't seen much of Sarkozy, but it appears that at least he's not as big an asshole as his immediate predecessor.

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

Oh, and I didn't stop drinking Canada Dry because they never set foot in Iraq; I stopped drinking Canada Dry because I found Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale. Damn, that stuff packs a fiery kick. Canada Dry is like water after having that.