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Thursday, August 02, 2007

The end of an era:

First, I note with sorrow the passing of The Weekly World News. The absurdist humor and entertainingly fake stories were a source of much amusement and mirth. Sadly, they found they could no longer compete in the fake news business with the leader in the field of manufactured and falsified headlines in print media, the New York Times.

Second, I note with sorrow the acquisition of Dow Jones by Rupert Murdoch, the current leader in manufactured and falsified headlines in the televised media. I think I tried to read the Wall Street Journal, once. I found it a wonderful sedative. Rupert Murdoch is much like the Borg Queen of Star Trek fame, except Alice Krige is far hotter and charming, and the Borg Queen character was an infinitely more sympathetic and cuddly figure. And this is the point where I realize that Ms. Krige is around my mother's age and go to the shrink... Hell, she's still a very dignified-looking hottie.

Third, some bridge up in Minneapolis collapsed, killing 9 and injuring 60. While I also note this with sorrow, I'm even sorrier that CNN (and, I'm assuming, Fox News though I haven't watched it in ages) couldn't find a more relevant story to the nation as a whole. This reeks of the type of "bystander of a roadside accident" drama that has taken the place of actual reporting over the last few years, and I for one am sick and goddamned tired of it. There's more important things going on in this nation than a bridge collapse, such as the impending collapse of Social Security and the near-exponential ballooning of the national debt.

Finally, R Kelly is finally getting his day in court. Although he is entitled to the presumption of innocence in this matter, I believe he's completely guilty of another misdeed that has made him quite rich: Creating shitty music. Jesus GODDAMNED CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!! "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky." I didn't know Christians tripped on acid. Fuck!

Thankfully, I have some real music. Enjoy.


Snave said...

I love the Weekly World News. We have the book "Bat Boy Lives", and we love it. I always enjoyed looking at the paper when in line at Safeway, and I would often tell people "To get the real news, you have to read THIS." I would buy a copy occasionally, and my wife would roll her eyes but she always got a kick out of it anyway. Sad to know it won't be in the stores anymore. Is it archived online somewhere?

I Googled for images of Alice Krige, and I'd agree she's a looker! As for Rupert Murdoch, he looks like a power-hungry media mogul who wants to make the world's opinions in his own image. Sadly, the more established outlets he buys, such as the WSJ, the more influence he has. How soon before someone like Roger Ailes is giving all the WSJ writers daily pep talks and providing them with crap they will be required to include in their articles? Maybe the WSJ was like that before Murdoch's arrival, who knows. But I have to agree, and I would add that I believe the WSJ has just lost its reputation as a credible source of information in the eyes of millions of people.

I had the same thoughts about watching news coverage of the bridge collapse on CNN! After the disaster, like maybe the next day, when nothing is really going on but the recovery effort, do they keep reporting nonstop because they think viewers are hoping to see a body dragged up out of the river, or a car roll off the bridge into the water? I think it's kind of like going to a boxing match in hope of seeing one fighter beat another to death, or like going to a NASCAR event in hope of seeing fiery wrecks. I hate the "bystander" bullshit too.

R. Kelly can fly, all right, straight to the bottom of the charts as far as I'm concerned. I agree about his music... scheise... As for him getting his day in court, that's great, and he definitely is entitled to being presumed innocent until found guilty. But as members of the Music Police, we need to bring him up on charges of smarminess, vapidity, and plain old musical bullshit.

1138 said...

I think you've got the Times confused with the Post.

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

No, I knew who I meant, though the Post are also far from being my favorite. Many of the charges rightfully leveled against the Post, such as sensationalism and blatant advocacy, apply just as well to the Times, but the Times "wins" based on the sheer volume of their, ahem, reporters and editors who have fabricated stories and utterly disregarded the facts of various cases when it doesn't suit their personal views. So, the post does the last as well, but the fabricated stories really pushes it over the Post when it comes to a lack of integrity. This may be the only instance where an entity owned by Rupert Murdoch is actually of marginally higher quality, or, to be more accurate, marginally less awful quality, than its competitors. It's certainly not the case with Fox News.