First, I note with sorrow the passing of The Weekly World News. The absurdist humor and entertainingly fake stories were a source of much amusement and mirth. Sadly, they found they could no longer compete in the fake news business with the leader in the field of manufactured and falsified headlines in print media, the New York Times.
Second, I note with sorrow the acquisition of Dow Jones by Rupert Murdoch, the current leader in manufactured and falsified headlines in the televised media. I think I tried to read the Wall Street Journal, once. I found it a wonderful sedative. Rupert Murdoch is much like the Borg Queen of Star Trek fame, except Alice Krige is far hotter and charming, and the Borg Queen character was an infinitely more sympathetic and cuddly figure. And this is the point where I realize that Ms. Krige is around my mother's age and go to the shrink... Hell, she's still a very dignified-looking hottie.
Third, some bridge up in Minneapolis collapsed, killing 9 and injuring 60. While I also note this with sorrow, I'm even sorrier that CNN (and, I'm assuming, Fox News though I haven't watched it in ages) couldn't find a more relevant story to the nation as a whole. This reeks of the type of "bystander of a roadside accident" drama that has taken the place of actual reporting over the last few years, and I for one am sick and goddamned tired of it. There's more important things going on in this nation than a bridge collapse, such as the impending collapse of Social Security and the near-exponential ballooning of the national debt.
Finally, R Kelly is finally getting his day in court. Although he is entitled to the presumption of innocence in this matter, I believe he's completely guilty of another misdeed that has made him quite rich: Creating shitty music. Jesus GODDAMNED CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!! "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky." I didn't know Christians tripped on acid. Fuck!
Thankfully, I have some real music. Enjoy.