I have heard the music at the entrance to Hell...

And it is the sound of Scott Stapp singing. I saw him on TV not too long ago, and I tried to listen to one of his songs all the way through. I really tried, like I would when trying some incredibly nasty yet exotic and possibly interesting dish at a restaurant, but my brain wanted to burst its way out of my skull to save me any more of that incredible misery. I swear, a few more seconds, and I would've been a twitching human vegetable for the rest of my life. Thankfully, I had just enough motor control left to change the fucking channel, and after watching VH1, I was able to function as a human being again, though I still suffer from flashbacks to that horrific experience. *shudders*

For those of you who thought he was a self-righteous, egotistical, talentless hack whose voice was reminiscent of hydraulic cutters being used on a mangled automobile, you don't have any idea how much worse he sounds without his band to keep him straight. Oh, and how about that? The band kicked him, the person who defined that band, out, with the probable knowledge that they were ending their careers as rock stars, and they pushed him out anyway. To them, I offer my most sincere condolences for having dealt with him for as long as they did. As for his singing, I roughly quote the Luke's Spirit Test scene from the original Star Wars series, when Luke says that he's not afraid of anything. In response, I quote Yoda when I say, "You will be." While his voice sounded like a hydraulic cutter before, now it sounds like a stereo playing a dirge while said stereo is going through a woodchipper. Oh, and he comes across as being even more insufferable than he was before. But not to worry: Kids who can't quite bring themselves to buy Christian rock will flock to his, ahem, CD, and he'll once again be "the next big thing" and people who enjoy real music will once again weep for this young and foolish generation, for they know not what they're doing. I can only hope that they get ahold of some real music instead before they suffer permanent damage. In the meantime, I wonder if the local grocery store has a special on Kleenex.