Governor Palin, the answers are as follows: Roman Abramovich and Roman Kopin are the former and current governors of Chukotka, respectively. Dmitri Medvedev is the current President of the Russian Federation. Dennis Fentie is the current Premier of the Yukon Territory. Geraldine van Bibber is the current Commissioner of the Yukon Territory. Gordon Campbell is the current Premier of British Columbia. Steven Point and Iona Campagnolo are the current and former Lieutenant Governor of British Columbia, respectively. On the place names, the correct answers were Yukon, Chukotka, Sakhalin, and Kamchatka. Of these, Sakhalin comes closest, but Alaska still has a slightly higher population.
For the fillers, Roman Jakobson was a Russian linguist who passed away back in 1982 when you were playing beer pong at your sorority. Vsevolod Abramovich was an early Russian aviator who died in 1913. Danila Medvedev is a Russian futurologist. Dennis Leary is one of my favorite comedians/comedic actors. Geraldine "Geri" Halliwell is better known as Sexy Spice of the Spice Girls. Greg Campbell is a not particularly great cricket player from Australia. Steven Soderbergh is one of the highest grossing movie directors of all time whose work includes "Erin Brockovich," "Oceans Eleven," "Solaris," and "sex,lies, and videotape". Finally, Iona Nikitchenko was the judge for the Soviet Union during the Nuremberg Trials. The filler place names are all parts of Russia.
Finally, the letter to Senator McCain. Enjoy.
Senator McCain, I hope this finds you well. By now you must be aware that your campaign is floundering. There is little you can do except tarnish your legacy; yet even the hope of avoiding that is in vain. Your crude attempts to excessively link Senator Obama to Bill Ayers have served only to spark hatred and fear. This is wrong, and you know it is wrong. While Bill Ayers and Senator Obama have worked together in the past, it has been only infrequently and for a short duration. The causes for which they worked together: education reform and anti-poverty efforts. What kind of bastard would help kids and poor people? That was a little thing called "sarcasm", by the way. Senator Obama was only eight years old at the time of the Weather Underground's most infamous acts. You know this, yet you persist in your dishonorable attacks on your fellow Senator.
You claim you will fix the economy, but how can your word be trusted? You were part of the Keating Five who assisted in causing the Savings and Loans collapse of the 1980s. Furthermore, your push for deregulation helped cause the current meltdown. You have admitted your ineptitude on this issue in the past, yet you claim you can fix this? I do not believe you, and the American people do not believe you. This is evidenced by your poll numbers. Why else would your best surrogate, Sarah Palin, be in West Virginia instead of a battleground state like Ohio?
It is as though you are reversing the course Thomas Dewey took in 1944 and 1948. In 1944, Dewey made extreme and unfair claims about his opponent, FDR, not unlike what you have done this year. In 1948, he took the self-serving "principled" stand you took in 2000. In one thing, however, Thomas Dewey and you are united: Your attempts to achieve the highest office in our land will have been unsuccessful. The time has come for your shameless self-promotion to come to an end. It will be with a song in my heart that I and millions of my fellow Americans will vote on November 4th to end your career. After this event, I wish you a long life and the wisdom to think about what led you to this point. That said, my hopes on the latter are muted by your stubborn refusal to learn from your past mistakes. The future is now. Your time is past. Enjoy your obsolescence. I know I will. And for those who are still continuing their drinking game from your last debate and that of your running mate, I have two things to say: "my friends" and "maverick".
Enjoy the music. The music is, fittingly enough, "Everybody Loves a Loser" by Morcheeba.