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Sunday, December 11, 2005

A site that will put you in a diabetic coma

I was reading Yahoo, and saw a reference to a site that specializes in nothing but happy news. If it's in the least bit negative, they won't publish it. It's called As of now, the weather report is that it's quite pleasant in Austin, TX. However, most of the country is cold, and my bad knee is aching. Integrity tops web dictionarys' lookups, but that's because no one knows what it means anymore. Breast cancer patients may get less chemo, but I wonder if that's because HMO's are getting ever cheaper. Experts urge less focus on antioxidants, possibly because Americans don't eat all that many vegetables that aren't fried and/or coated in thick gravy or grease. Scientists deciphered the DNA of dogs, but still can't get them to stop sniffing everyone's asses. Garth Brooks and Trish Yearwood have wed, promising yet another generation of redneck celebrities. Fans mark the anniversary of John Lennon's murder, but they wouldn't be if he hadn't been shot in the first place.

All of the above are real headlines on this site. The happy bits are theirs, while the festering cynicism is all mine. Visit that site, sing "Happy Happy, Joy Joy" if you must, and stay away from the sweets. That site will put you in a coma if you try reading under the influence of cinnabuns.

1 comment:

Snave said...

Happy Happy Joy Joy... I love that Ren and Stimpy episode, and have the DVD collection of the first seasons to prove it! Although I have a problem with them making fun of Burl Ives by putting a cartoon drawing of him on the record jacket, calling him Stinky Wizzleteeth and mentioning the "fly marrying the bumblebee"... when I was a preschooler Ives' "Little White Duck" was my favorite record of all time (still probably is one of them, actually!)

And actually I nearly died laughing the first time I saw them making fun of Burl!

The "lost episode" in that collection is worth the price of the whole thing, IMO!