The Ethics of Schadenfreude: Musings on Paris Hilton

I watched Paris Hilton in the back of a police car, weeping and hysterical today, and I admit that I felt a bit of pity for her. Before I continue, I need to make a few things clear. I think she's one of the most vacuous, irritating, functionally retarded public figures of our time. Even if I were of a mind to purchase such videos, I STILL wouldn't touch her infamous "tapes". Also, I think "The Simple Life" should, by all rights, have been the death knell of "reality television." All that said, I do feel sorry for her, on some level. During her 26 years on this earth, she had never been taught that there were limits, and that there were consequences to her behavior that her parents couldn't "fix". She had never been taught that sometimes, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, life will have its sour spots. She had never been taught that sometimes, all her money and privilege are meaningless. And above all, she had never been taught to avoid drawing the ire of law enforcement and the court system. Now, she is facing justice in the form of a 45 day sentence, and while others have it worse and I feel bad for them as well, in this case as in so many of those others, they ultimately brought it on themselves. I hope she uses the next month and a half to grow as an individual and finally fix what is so wrong with her. I hope she remembers this, and should she have children, that she teaches this lesson to them so that they may be spared this pain. And for God's sake, I hope she does NOT turn this into a topic for another vacuous music album.

Enjoy the music. I thought it was quite fitting.