I've been tagged...

Back on December 27, I was tagged by Blondage, and yesterday, January 9, I was tagged by Snave. Damn, if only Snave were Rebecca Romijn, then I wouldn't feel too bad about being sandwiched between two people...

Anyway, as stated in the challenge, I will name off five weird things about myself, most of which will probably end up with my two or three readers suggesting psychiatrists in my region. This is especially true since I'm naming off some of the more normal of my weird quirks and thought-processes.

1) I take comfort in pleasantly griping about things when everything is mostly okay. A sure sign that a situation is well and truly fucked up is if I'm expressing consistent optimism. During hurricane season, this mutates further, entering a third stage: Keeping glued to the television while carefully not saying anything about what's happening at home however many miles away until a safer time of the year, like December. I was hitting the NHC and Weather Channel websites two or three times a day when there WASN'T anything in the water, all four or five days that occurred this past season, a number that doubled pretty easily when there was something somewhere.

2) Sometimes, I am curious about odd things. For example, I wonder if non-schizophrenics should name their nervous breakdowns, much like meteorologists name hurricanes or infectious disease specialists name strains of the flu. I don't know about that, but I've named my ulcer "Dennis".

3) I'm an agnostic, but I'm pretty damned conflicted about it. When I see a murderer who brutalized his victims and has been on death row since disco was king, or when I read about some other sick motherfucker who's currently in prison, I wish I were a Christian again, so that I could truly believe they were going to hell when they finally get around to meeting their Maker.

4) I'm becoming more and more of a food snob and place an ever-growing level of importance on natural flavors and such, but occasionally, I find myself comforted, if not thrown into an odd childlike glee, by some of the cheapest, most preservative-rich foods in the grocery or convenience store. Thy SlimJims and thy pickled pigs' feet, they comfort me.

5) I have a low tolerance for stupid people, yet I actually paid attention when Senator Kennedy was pontificating during the Alito hearings. Dude, where's the brain cells I lost to that refugee from an AA meeting?

I would get up and tag five more people, but my bad knee, which I'm thinking about naming Gwen after the former No Doubt singer, as both are equally painful, is acting up.